Actually, maybe I should title this "Old Sins Die Hard". Let's call it what it is. Yesterday was miserable. Before my husband left for work, after not sleeping well, I chose to badger him with my list of "unmet needs". Little nit-picky areas of household life that were unfulfilled. Terribly mundane necessities of running our home; intuitions of overdue jobs. Well, it really doesn't matter what the issue was. What matters is my sinful heart had a field day as I gloried in describing my fears and then, followed him around the house repeating myself like the father goose in Charlotte's Web. Finally, he'd had enough and we had words. Thankfully, we stopped ourselves and we prayed and asked each other's forgiveness. Still, the damage was done and we were left to ponder the morning all day long. I sent my husband to work dealing with the after-shocks of the little earthquake I'd created. Not a good thing.
Later in the day, when he came home. He came in the door, tenatively, looking very tired. I could tell he didn't know which Shelley he would find when he came home. Our welcome home kiss was very "grandmotherly"; more of a little peck than a kiss. Later, we were able to sit on the couch with a cup of mint tea to talk and pray some more. The air cleared like after a huge storm. It was beautiful.
Marriage is very hard work. We'll be married 22 years in May but because we are two sinners trying to exalt our own kingdoms every day, there's a lot of conflict.
Lord, I am praying today that I will be aware of my old habits/sins and remember that Christ died for me so that I no longer "live for myself". And, I no longer view my husband "from a worldly point of view". We are "new creations; the old has gone; the new has come!" (2 Corinthtians 5:14-17) Help me to live like it today. --Amen
Good book recommendation: What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage Paul David Tripp (get it now, read it now, re-read it!!!)
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