No Pain, No Gain

No one likes to be corrected.  I experienced this the other day when my husband gently brought something to my attention that needed to be corrected.  It's a sin I struggle with and actually, something that had taken root in my life and I wasn't even fully aware of it.  The pain I felt as we talked it over was intense.  I was so fully entrenched in this sinful behavior that I struggled to find the words to justify it and to rationalize why I had to be that way.  Honestly, I felt that the essence of my being was undergoing a battle siege.  It was incredibly hard to separate it (the sin) out of who I am.  I guess because for years I told myself that I was entitled to feel that way due to "X, Y & Z".  I don't know.  When you believe something for so long, it guides your actions.  Well, it (this sin) guided my actions and my speech the other day and truly revealed my heart.  My husband graciously talked with me about it and gradually, through my tears, and with the Holy Spirit's power, I repented and uprooted the huge weed that was growing in my heart.  I want you to know, it was painful and it took a while.  It didn't go easily.  The soil around this weed was hard and dry and unforgiving.  It's gone and thank the Lord.  I suppose like those fluffy white dandelion heads though, it could have left seeds behind that will try to implant themselves in the newly-roughed-up soil.  So, although I am forgiven, I need Jesus and His perfect gardening skills to help me live before our Father every day in humility and love so the soil of my heart stays tender and pure.